she don't owe him nothing

Today:

- Celebrated 7 years with Brad. Actually, I celebrated this one all by myself - Brad says that now that we're married, our dating anniversary doesn't count. Still, 7 years!

- Got an undergrad research position in the Barkin lab. This was the culmination of months of screwing up my courage, asking big intimidating men for a project, and mostly hearing 'no'. Today, on a whim, I mustered my last remaining courage, and this is the result. I just. Cannot. Believe it.

come come nuclear bomb

Today I received a friendly letter informing me that I'd made the Dean's list last term for my outstanding grades. What happened to me? I was just about to type 'probably because I didn't take any biology that term' when I remembered that I did in fact take biology. Two 400 levels. What happened to me?

I got so bored to death

Things I will never do again:


* Take two reading courses in the same term. If I skim and speed read I can barely get the work done, but what's the point in that? I feel like I'm wasting my time if I don't have time to really learn things. On that subject, I'm hoping that the bulk of my remaining russian electives will be a little more upbeat. This term gives new meaning to the word dismal.

* Take a photography course. Having to shoot specific technical things for assignments takes the art out of photography, for me. Also, listening to a bunch of teenagers discuss art is like jumping into an frozen lake, repeatedly. I'm hoping to do an independent study next term to learn color darkroom process, and I'm open to more courses to learn specific techniques (large format, alternative processes etc), but this will probably be my last 'artistic' photography course.


* Go an entire term without biology. I'm missing it. I'm also increasingly filled with doubt about my potential future as a biology grad student, and getting out of the science game really makes me forget why I love it so much. Won't make that mistake again.

one minute

Some of my friends from the cast of Pnin. I love these people. Taken by Polina.





Trying to explain the rules of telepictionary in clear and descriptive english. Failing. Also by Polina.




The first picture of me that I've liked in years. By Christian.

the sky accelerates

Sitting next to a stack of books about Trofim Lysenko, I can't help but wonder if I'll ever be able to choose between these two things that I love. Sometimes, I feel so lucky to be able to study so many diverse, varied, interesting things. Other times, I just wish I could stop screwing around, and make up my fucking mind.

through a pinhole

This term defines frustration. It's not that it's so hard, that's ok. I'm no longer subject to the terrible self doubt that characterized my first year or so of college. Rather, I feel torn between biology and russian, these two things that I love. It's driving me crazy. Each term it seems as though I have to choose between. Last term I missed a great russian lit course. This term I'm missing a biology course I'd dearly like to take. Next term it'll be russian history I'm passing up, again.

Today I was wondering if I wanted to go grad school for biology at all.

only you knew

So, I've just had my last new course for the term. I'm excited thrilled vaguely apprehensive about this term and all my many russian courses.


Spoken Russian

We were successful in petitioning for a spoken russian course this term, but we weren't able to have the same gtf teaching. That's a bummer, but the girl teaching it now seems really great too. So far, it's just the three of us. Unless we can recruit a few more, the class will be canceled after this term. I'm optimistic, though.


Russian language

For the first time I actually feel as though I know a teensy tiny bit of russian. My passive vocabulary is actually pretty large, and my reading comprehension has increased dramatically. Maybe some day I'll be able to form a coherent sentence, but I'm not holding my breath. This course is just the right mixture of fun and difficult. And it's nice to finally feel like I know people.

Prison Camp Literature

So fantastic. I'm really not familiar with the read a book, then talk about course model. If I'm not writing a 5 page lab report or building a 10 node phylogenetic tree, I feel like I'm getting off easy. Lots of reading here, but you know, all very interesting. This course is reesc labeled, so I know almost everyone in it. Which is really fun.

Stalinism seminar

I've been missing history, and I've been getting off easy, frankly, on the workload end of things. This course will take care of both of these problems. Today we started with a demonstration of the libraries' resources by my very favorite librarian, the lovely Heghine. I plan to write my paper on Lysenko, or Lysenkoism, or soviet biological science in general under Stalin. Something fun and uplifting like that.

Photography

Purely for fun, I'm taking this course mainly to learn film printing. I've got developing down pretty well. UO has darkrooms that I can use for practically zero dollars, so after this term, I'll be all set for film photography. So thrilling.

your request

A better angle on my pretty new hair. Once I washed out all the junky product and flat ironing my stylist had done, I liked it a lot more. I'm currently loving it.

we dismiss

Found in a used textbook.

But these wrinkles masterfully disguise

After.

from our own seperate sides

Before.

make it easy

I had a really fun New Year's. Looking forward to 2009.

Pictures

I'd rather go inside

"On Discovering a Butterfly" - Vladimir Nabokov

I found it and named it, being versed
in taxonomic Latin; thus became
godfather to an insect and its first
describer -- and I want no other fame.

Wide open on its pin (though fast asleep),
and safe from creeping relatives and rust,
in the secluded stronghold where we keep
type specimens it will transcend its dust.

Dark pictures, thrones, the stones that pilgrims kiss,
poems that take a thousand years to die
but ape the immortality of this
red label on a little butterfly.

This book had me at 'Nabokov' and 'phylogenetic'.

the backroads

So. 2008. I think I can say, fairly, that 2008 was just about my favorite year, ever. To recap . . .

* Finally came to terms with ditching old life plan (biology/physics undergrad, then med school) for new life plan (biology/russian, studying abroad, biology phd)

* Actually, seriously, for really real lost weight. I never expected to lose any weight, so I'm still not really over the surprise. Just bought my first size small shirt at Ann Taylor Loft. Bizarre.

* Finished my first year of russian, did the russian play, made a bunch of friends in the russian program, started to feel like I actually knew a word or two of russian. In general loved russian language people literature music to utter death.

* Took up film photography. Very limited initial success, but it's coming. Love the ancient alchemistic feel of it.

* First wedding anniversary, first full year in home we own. These things are great, and I love that they're no longer new. Being married is awesome. Owning a home rocks.


Yeah. So, a good year, in general. Can't wait for 2009.

cause I'm not

Possibly the warmest, calmest, best christmas ever.

how'd you find me

From the 'things I never expected to deal with in this century' files. My first roll of small format, 35mm film. Shot with my beautiful new pentax k1000 (suspiciously identical to the one in the picture, up there). Let's hope for a little more success with these then I've had with my holga.

but while you debate

Christmas time.

you'll see

Today under the 'Eugene' section of my google news was this link:

Work with fungus uncovering keys to DNA methylation.

I'm not really sure why this is big important city news, but it's really interesting regardless. This is the fantastic Eric Selker, who I had the privilege of working under last spring. I really enjoyed working with Neurospora Crassa, and I always love to hear about the new and exciting things he's discovered about it.

I'll pull the curtains and blinds

As of 8:13 pm, I am done with fall term.



I spent literally 8 hours today constructing that tree, perhaps the hardest I worked the entire term.